“Don’t get water in your ears!” “Careful cutting that mango!” “Stop rubbing mud on your skin!” These reactions might be seen as normal parenting, but we’re trying to change.
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It has taken us a long time, probably longer than it should have, but we think we might finally be learning to let go.
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As unschooling parents, we are still doing a great deal of unlearning ourselves, detoxing from an old paradigm. One of the most difficult habits we’ve had to unlearn is the word, “No.”
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“No” is often a knee-jerk reaction to the thousands of requests from our kids on a daily basis. “Can I make spaghetti?” “Can I walk to the mall to buy Legos?” “Can I use the lens from your glasses to make a projector?”
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There may be many different reasons to say “no.” Perhaps out of fear of accident or injury. But most often it tends to be out of inconvenience or interruption. I don’t feel like making spaghetti right now and if I let her do it by herself she will destroy the kitchen.
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We are learning to be inconvenienced in order to allow our kids to try things, make messes, fail miserably, and then try again. By us simply learning to stop saying “no” our kids are taking initiative and ownership of their own learning.
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What do our children most need from us? The answer is humbling: They need us to let them be.
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